For a while, I have been contemplating how to make more use of my time and to do things that feel more purposeful with my life. As someone who does not truly believe in charity for the sake of altruism, nor do I fully support doing something for nothing (related to altruism), it has been a challenge to grow in my spirit of compassion and dana (generosity and donation).
About a month ago, I was having one of my existential crises moments feeling a lack of purposefulness in my daily life. It’s not that I feel I don’t have a purpose, it’s that I don’t know how to action my purpose in a fulfilling way whilst also maintaining the freedom and flexibility of the lifestyle I cherish in totality. So, after having a bit of a lament and probably taking out my sense of ‘lack’ on M, I sat with myself when he was away.
One solution that arose was to embark on a two-year Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certificate Program.
So, I applied. I was accepted and began the process of ensuring I am ready for the February 2025 start.
Part of the pre-requisites is to participate in a silent meditation retreat. Since we have a number of travel plans before the end of the year, it was a challenge to consider an in-person retreat where I’d have to travel. So, thanks to the power of technology and the influence of the pandemic, opportunities have arisen so that these kinds of retreats can be done online.
I chose to do one that was on the US West Coast timezone as it was the least likely to disrupt my daily life given that I have an engaged partner and pups to ensure get attention throughout the day. Hence, the silent in quotations.
The past five days were the days, or I should say, nights.
Overall, I would say it was a meaningful experience. I did a lot of meditating, which was a treat. Insights and awakenings inside me occurred so that I felt a shift in my psyche and I narrowed down my life purpose statement more clearly.
I am the shining light of wisdom that guides others to find their own lights so they can shine for others.
If you’re not a life purpose statement kind of person, I realize this may sound a bit strange. Basically, I am called to be a “teacher” of sorts. Everything I’ve done in my professional life has been to become able to teach or train. This is really no different.
I am also motivated to support the betterment of the human capacity in individuals whether through health (diet and nutrition), yoga (physical), or meditation (mental) for an overall balanced sense of well-being. Therefore, using my own light and wisdom from my life, I can help to guide and support others so that they can shine for themselves and others. It reminds of me of the scene in The Lord of the Rings when they light the beacons.
This remains one of my favorite scenes of all time as it gives me such hope for humanity. This is also what I want to contribute to creating in us as individuals.
I also believe that much can be achieved through meditation, which is a very much misunderstood “activity” by the mainstream. So, if I can help to dispel the myths while making it more accessible to everyone, I feel that I am doing my part in my way. This combines my ability and skills of teaching with my desire to elevate the human capacity within individuals to further elevate society.
Perhaps it seems lofty or idealistic, but this is my greatest dream in life. It’s not one I often share or verbalize because it’s such a core value that I have been hesitant, out of fear, that one might try to blow out the flame. However, I now understand that I need to let the light shine and like the beacons burn bright for all the world to see as we encourage others to light their own.
So, I’m looking for further retreats – admittedly more bougie ones than the stereotypical granola, monk-ish style – and look forward to building up my practice so that I can truly fulfill my purpose. More as this develops to come.
~T π₯πβοΈ
