It has now been almost four months that I have been consistently taking the Cipralex and it was not until I made my trip home that I realized just how much it is working for me. Honestly, I had contemplated going off of it in a few months, but upon reflection I am not sure. Maybe going a full year and continuing to reflect on my life will be better so that I can make a more informed decision about staying on it or not.
In any case, I really had a great time being home and seeing my BFF. It was perhaps one of the best trips I have had. Of course, there could be any number of reasons for this, but I think one major factor is being on the Cipralex.
While others around me were worked up or getting stressed over things I felt myself in a pretty calm place. I did not join in the stressful feelings, but instead watched with both amazement and sadness at how we let ourselves be taken over by the truly unimportant matters in life. The before-me would have felt the stress from others and gotten involved or let myself be swept along with my own worries or stress. The after-me saw through these behaviors and found how much I really did not need to become a part of the behaviors around me. It is not a judgment by any means as I am quite notorious for being a worry-wart all on my own. However, it does say a lot about the effects of the Cipralex, not just on my behavior but also on my perceptions.
Although I worry sometimes that my eyes are now tainted by the Cipralex lens in that I feel as if everyone should feel this kind of ‘awakening’, I think that the reality is that more people should probably consider how it could help them. It is not that drugs/medication is for everyone. It is not that everyone is ‘crazy’. However, I think there are probably a lot of people who deny that they worry too much, are depressed more than they should be, stress over the little things more than necessary, and then emanate all that negative energy onto others unintentionally. Even if we realize that we are this way, most of us will deny that medication is necessary or effective for ‘me’. I was this way as well, but now that I have seen the difference and talked with others around me, I realize that what is important is focusing on positive energies.
Still, I need to consider how to better focus when I need to as I know that the Cipralex tends to take my mind away too quickly from certain thoughts. Since I really need to get my dissertation written, it is going to be a challenge to figure out how to force my mind and body to focus long enough to accomplish this task. It can be done, I just need to try some different strategies than I have been.
In any case, I think that I’m on a good path right now and am happy with life! <3
-T π
