The sayings go: Β “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” or “Patience is a virtue.” I never really liked these phrases to be honest. π They just felt like statements to appease one going through a tough time.
Yesterday was a trying day to say the least. Hours of my day were wasted waiting…. One thing after another continued to go wrong. I was ever so dramatic as to say “This is the worst day of my life!” (I guess I am doing alright if this is true…!) π
Most people would probably not describe me as the most patient person in the world. The idea of wasting time is a trigger point for me. I am not quite sure where it stems from, but it definitely winds me up and brings out the ugly in me. Part of it is a sense of having my freedom taken away from me, which is one of my greatest values. When I have to wait around for money to transfer, for someone to answer a question, for a store to open, etc. I am usually quick to complain. This is absolutely my selfish nature – don’t people know about MY time???
Furthermore, most people who know me know that strength is definitely something I have due to my life circumstances. Therefore, I no longer feel as if I need more…. Again, my own selfish nature coming out here. Now, this is not to say that I cannot or will not learn from my continued life experiences. It does say that my patience for needing to learn more wears thin on me…. For if I let my mind go to the dark corners, the questions that arise are “Haven’t I had enough trying times in my life?” or “When is enough enough?”
Ultimately, it is true. I did not die from yesterday’s trials. I probably got some strength in the form of patience. I still am not sure that it is a virtue of any kind to be patient, but I am open to the fact that everything does generally work out for a reason. So, I am trying to see the good in my five plus hours of wasted time when I could have been reading a good book sitting by the pool…. It just might take me a while to see it…. π
~T π
