Yep, I actually Googled the definition of masochism this morning. Why? Because, I wonder if my subconscious is really masochistic…. 😐
I feel as if the darkness is winning these days.
It is the season of being thankful, thinking about presents and the coming family-time, looking forward to the new year on the horizon with all that it promises. To do this, I have to reflect over the year….
Things I am Thankful For:
*got married and had a wonderful wedding where I was able to see my most loved ones all in one place.
*quit my job and, despite current circumstances, I absolutely know it was the right decision to have made.
*been able to really discover my friendships and those who value me as much as I value them.
*health.
*nearly completed my yoga certification with new possibilities, new friends, etc.
*…and more no doubt
Things I am Looking Forward to:
*enjoying our new apartment with furniture and decorations with the ability to really make it home…
*financial stability and freedom
*being debt-free to people and hopefully to any institution
*traveling again
*having a worry/stress-free daily life
When I adjust my perspective to focus on these things, I have to give myself a figurative head slap. What is my problem, really? Everything is temporary in terms of the challenges and struggles.
This weekend my teacher said someone said to her “You have to just sit through the darkness”. I recently listened to a podcast where someone spent a year in isolation and got through his dark periods by “just sitting through it”. Noticing a theme??
Therefore, while I am definitely not deriving any pleasure of any kind from pain to myself – mentally, emotionally or physically – I do know that I need to learn to sit through it to break a cycle and come out on the other side; definitely on top!
~T 😀
