Every day I see people – well, almost every day. I generally force myself to get out at least once in a day even if it is just for my lessons/sessions.
Despite this, I still regularly crave going into a cave and hiding into my own world. For some this might be considered as anti-social or even odd behavior. For others, you get it. π
The problem with spending too much time on my own is that I can start to feel isolated or alone. I can play an old tape in my head that no one loves me or needs me. I can start to ask the futile question of “Why me?” or “What did I do to deserve ____?” Of course, I know that this old tape should be thrown away. Over the years I have worked extremely hard on re-recording over that tape; however, like the real old tapes, you cannot fully remove the imprint that has been made on the film.
Therefore, there are days when it is necessary to acknowledge what I am feeling or to even address the old voice as a reminder of who I have become since those days of old. Denying it would be inviting a repeating and recreating of a new stronger tape that would not be productive.
The past couple of months have required me to be extra social in order to network and try to get clients. While it may have been somewhat fruitful, the truth is that it was exhausting and most definitely not my style. Although others try to give me advice and tell me that I have to learn how to market myself or speak to others to sell sell sell. I wholeheartedly disagree.
I believe that I need to get my name out there, and know that I will. I also believe that people will come to me when they are ready or in need of what I have to offer. If I am patient with it, I know that I will get the business that I am waiting for.
So, as I continue to take my moments for reflection, I also realize that I need to prioritize myself and appreciate that this anti-social socialite is going to be laying a bit lower from now on. π
~T π
