This morning, M and I drove to Dubai together. He had an appointment and I have a half-day training (more on that later after the training is finished).
Usually, I have most days to myself and can store up my energy or only communicate via writing (texts, what’s app or emails) so that the energy and tones I expend are fairly limited or tweaked according only to what is needed for the limited communication. Therefore, by the time I see my high-energy husband, I am ready to go with the drama or mood that comes.
Unfortunately, this morning I did not have enough time to prepare myself for the car ride with him and so we had some tension due to his extremely stressful energies. There is nothing more than the usual (of late) stressors, but the truth is that I probably do not get affected by his coping process during the day because he is not around and he can diffuse it through work or stirring the ‘busy’ pot. Thus, by the time he gets home he has worked through it a bit for both of our sakes.
Although I have done quite a bit of study and acknowledging of the fact that I am an introvert who needs to reserve energy or recoup energy on my own, I have not fully worked through the fact that different energies can greatly affect me. There is something to be said about having to be out in the “real” world regularly for those like me as I had to just cope each day when I was going to a full-time job. Even though I could hide in my office, I still had to be “on” throughout the day, which now I do not.
So, the more that I am allowed to be “off”, the more I realize just how much the energies of others can affect me – especially the main person I see most days; my husband.
While it is not for me to sort him out or to teach him how to channel his energies so that they do not affect me so much, it is for me to work out how I can learn to respond better when we are lucky enough to be around each other during the day or if I happen to get clients or work that requires me to be in the energy space of others. I cannot be a hermit forever, right?! π
Despite lots of advice on how to stay positive or healthy saying that one should start to cut out the energy drainers in your life, the reality is that we all have to learn to get along. Since I maintain that chaos always wins over organization/stability, it is important to be so grounded that when the storms come I am not uprooted but stand firm in who I am, what I am doing and where I am going.
In the end, the goal is that my calming energy will eventually win over and the stress will dissipate like vapor into the air.
~T π
