So…the memory is so often unreliable. We tend to easily remember the bad things that happen to us or the moments when others have let us down in some way or another, no matter how little or a lot. However, we have the amazing ability to forget all the good things or the status quo elements of life.
I have been in some kind of a mood lately. While I could blame it on my monthly cycle or others around me or the moon or whatever else I can find to pass it on to something or someone other than myself, if I am to learn anything (eventually), I should be paying more attention to my bipolar tendencies.
Because the extremes and swings have not been so noticeable lately, I had nearly forgotten that they even exist as a reality in my life. Since I am not manic up or down, it is more difficult to take notice or to remember to take notice when these episodes might be happening.
However, when M said to me the other day that suddenly I seemed to have released some tension (this was after selling his car), I thought that perhaps it was more of a trigger that snapped me out of the downward trend. Of course, selling the car is a HUGE relief in so many ways, but is it THAT much of a trigger to push me back up into an upward spiral? Probably not…and yet, I am now suddenly full of energy, happy, playful, etc. – to a minor extreme.
Therefore, logic kicks in and memory recall pinpoints that perhaps I am having a more obvious bipolar episode and have forgotten or chosen to ignore the signs again.
A couple of changes are being made to address this.
First, I am starting to take the Vitamin B (stress tabs) again as I imagine that having been off of them now for about three months has probably affected the chemistry of my brain enough to now be noticeable again. It was an experiment to see how the Juice Plus pills would work without the other, but I think that for now I need to do both.
Second, I got myself back to the gym this morning. Stepping on the scale the other day and also having some people notice that as a regular I have been absent, motivated me to take the first step to get back to it. This should also help the chemistry of the body to give me boosts through a healthy lifestyle and regulate the moods again.
I am still working on one other change, which I discussed last week or the week before in getting myself back onto a regular meditating schedule. This has been a bit slow on the take, but I will get there as I need to step up my game in this area now that I have more clients and classes going during the week. π
All in all, I cannot complain as the high in my brain is pointing toward life getting better and better. For now, I shall ride the waves and do what I can to prevent a crashing downward. π
~T π
