It has not happened yet, but I can feel the pattern beginning.
Last night, I fell asleep peacefully around 10pm, woke up a little here and there, but suddenly at 11:44pm, I was awake. My mind began to move with thoughts and tinges of worry.
We have given our two months notice for the apartment. This means we need to know what we are doing – staying in the country or leaving.
If we stay, then we need to be sure to know where we are moving to and for how long. Given that neither of us have visas, this is a bit of a tricky situation. Also, since we have two fur balls, it is also another consideration to take into account when looking at moving.
If we go, then we need to decide on where as the when is already determined.
In either direction, we need funds. This is a huge concern for me. Although we have been managing well and gotten to a point where we are nearly on track, especially with bills, there are still a few immediate outstanding debts that need to be taken care of before we can also move on.
M says all is in working out in our favor and not to worry. I do trust him – partially because I have no other choice and partially because I just do for some reason π – so that is at least one thing I do not have to worry about. I mean, I suppose I could be in denial or have a sense of needing to trust him for what else do I have, but I do not think that any of that is actually true in this case. I believe in him and his ability to make life better. I also believe it is something that he needs to do for himself as much as for me and for us. So, it requires patience on my end.
It also requires my own proactivity in trying to develop online income whether through writing or through blogging or whatever it may be. I do need to take these steps, but I also need money to do some of it in terms of marketing, design, etc.
So…it is coming together, but there may still be a few sleepless nights in AD anyway coming….
~T π
