There is a Japanese art form called kintsugi or kintsukuroi, which is used to repair broken pottery using a metal (gold or silver generally) to repair the broken item.
When we fall in love or start a new relationship, whether friendly or romantic, we look at the connection as perfect and untouched. Like we do with decorative plates, we try the best we can to protect the original purity of the shape, quality, and value.
However, since we are not able to put our relationships into a safety box, after the ‘honeymoon period’ levels off, normal wear and tear starts to dim down the initial brightness.
Every time we fight with someone a little crack is made in that perfect plate. Even without knowing it, the cracks can continue to spread into a myriad of microscopic lines like a snowflake. Relationships often end because those little cracks go untreated which can weaken the integrity to the point that the plate completely shatters into millions of pieces with no possibility of being put back together again.
Before getting to this point, there are obviously various ways to prevent a total breakdown.
There is a Japanese philosophy called wabi-sabi, which is to appreciate flaws or imperfections due to the natural wear of life. They also follow the idea that change, imperfection, and even fractures are inevitable aspects of living.
These are reasonable philosophies to take on in many ways. To add to them, I also like to consider that if we apply melted gold or silver to the cracks, it not only makes the piece complete again, but also adds value to the original. It may not be the same as when new, but the mended version may be even stronger and more beautiful.
Relationships of all kind take effort. We have to regularly take the piece off a shelf to dust, inspect for any unsuspecting cracks or chips, and appreciate the beauty that it brings to our lives. All too often, we forget to put in the effort and take for granted that it will always be there safe on a shelf.
Whenever I fight with someone, I feel a little like (not to be too dramatic) a piece of me dies. It’s as if a tiny hole has been poked like the inverse of a black screen that allows in a stream of light, but a spot of darkness enters instead. I believe that it is these dark spots that turn into cancer if not addressed completely to plug up the holes with beautiful gold or silver.
Being the kind of person who struggles to express positive emotions it is a good reminder for me to keep gold on hand when I might inadvertently cause a crack or even a hole to open while maintaining a balance in wabi-sabi. 
