You know those days when it seems that no matter what you do, or how perfectly set up you are, you are just not going to get any work done? Today was one of those days.
Nothing has gone wrong, but two trips to the car rental agency to try to trade to an automatic and a husband who thrives on chaos which is highly strung today, seems to be just the way things are aligned for the day.
Luckily, my required work got done early, so if I don’t get my other work done it will not be the end of the world; and I can find solace in the fact that I am inspired to write instead. There’s always a silver lining if we just leave ourselves open to being shown it.
Another version of myself would be sitting in frustration looking for somewhere to place blame while fretting about best laid plans and waylaid courses. However, this version of me just smiles and shakes her head at the naivety of still believing I have any control or say over how my day is to go – even with my continued love (and dependence) on routine and schedules.
So, I’m going with my inspiration and the mood fighting a rather strong desire to plop down on the couch, turn on some crime TV and let my mind drift into oblivion.
A friend of mine encouragingly reminded me to not write for others or work in creative spaces for anyone other than myself. Much truth lies in these words. Yet, there is also a part of me that struggles with that idea as I have, to be honest, spent most of my life for myself.
But, as I was doing some studying/learning today, I came across a question to ask writers: Why do you want to tell THIS story?
The heart of any writing I do is buried in a desire to help others. When I was eight, I felt alone and strange in the world I had ended up in. It was just being adopted or having a unique international then domestic experience. It was that I became aware of a consciousness that was not the same as those around me whether my own age or older.
So, somehow I knew that my view of the world needed to be shared because surely I could not be alone in the way that I see it. It’s taken me years to find my voice or to have the confidence (thank god for aging) to speak out and to let myself be heard. It’s still a process, but my voice is becoming stronger and louder.
Thus, on days like today when I thought my usual routine would be what makes me feel satisfied at the end of it yet takes me a different direction, I am happy to follow where it goes into a zone – twilight or dawn. 😉
~T 😀
