Yesterday, I participated in an interview for someone doing research on the adoptee diaspora and was struck by a few thoughts stimulated by her questions. One of them is around my concept of ‘home’, which is a recurring question in my mind.
Coincidentally, or not, I had just been talking to my brother for an hour before this interview. It’s the second time this year and already twice as many times as previous years have been in keeping up with him.
My brother and I are very very different people. Still, I love him. I accept him for who he is, and I know that I have not always been the best sister to him over the years as I often focus on my own perspective and experiences in the world. However, as we both age, I recognize how short life is and that he is my family forever, which is important to me. So, this year, I have decided to make more of an effort to catch up with him, but it is, admittedly, a work in progress for me.
Therefore, when I was asked how I define ‘home’ π , I paused.
Home is not a place for me. As in, I rarely refer to Oregon as my home. I do not identify with the State or region much. In fact, I would say that I try not to define myself as a Pacific Northwesterner since I despise the rainy βοΈ, cold π₯Ά, and grey βοΈ weather that it is the trademark of the area. Also, as I find myself having lived longer outside of the US than I have in it, I even wonder at calling myself ‘American’ πΊπΈ. Further than that, I am also definitely not ‘Korean’ π°π· other than the make up of my DNA. So, while I claim American citizenship and Korean heritage, they are not home either.
Ultimately, my cynical self cringes at this but, “home is where the heart is”.
My home is where my parents and my family are. π My home is where my husband is. β€οΈ My home is where my friends are. π My home is where I have given pieces of my heart. π β€οΈ π
I used to say that ‘home is where my stuff is’, but the softening of my protected heart has led me to admit that it really is where I have a connection to the people in it. Perhaps this is why I have never really had an attachment to a house or space that I live in or that I feel comfortable traveling around the world.
Still, when we got married, M and I agreed that we were ready to have a ‘home base’ where we could return to together while maintaining our lifestyle exploring new places together. So, our home π‘ is currently in Italy, but I will, hopefully, be visiting my home soon this summer to see my family and friends in Oregon.
Maybe instead of thinking that “the world is my oyster”, I can rebrand it as “the world is my home”! π
~T π₯πβοΈ
