temporarily selfless… these are today’s words.
It has been a somewhat emotional, slightly challenging, and a little numbing week. The currency market took the forex fund by surprise drastically decreasing our source of income over a 48-hour period. π³
Luckily, we are not broke – yet. Luckily, we still have a roof over our heads – for now. Luckily, we still have each other – for sure and forever.
Strangely enough, it was just last weekend when I went on a rant to my partner in life about how I was starting to become numb to decisions being made on my behalf. Some of those decisions I have gone along with based on what I understood at the start, some of them I have had little or no say in because there is nothing I can actually do to offset or affect change to them. Therefore, I have to turn the dial on my emotion of caring toward the down or near ‘off’ side in order to not completely lose my mind or cool – well, at least not much of my cool. π
The fact is that I am resilient. Early childhood trauma and drama taught me that and gave me the skills to become so. The Grim Reaper hasn’t taken me yet despite shadows of his presence lurking behind corners at times, so I figure I still got time in this universe.
As part of becoming resilient, I also have learned to be adaptable. Moving from home to home, family to family, country to country, person to person, I can adjust my needs, wants, and focus as required. Learning not to become overly attached to things until proof of longevity is given, I am OK with whatever comes.
One cannot be adaptable without also being flexible. Although I am not flexible in my values or much of my personality π€·π½ββοΈ, I can be flexible with my time, focus, and priorities. Yoga and meditation π§ββοΈ were tools that provided me with the true realization of this gift. Without them, I would not be writing this so confidently, or calmly.
As for the selfless aspect, well, I did put ‘temporarily’. π¬
It is not sustainable to be selfless forever, but when needed I can access it thanks to all of the above. My toolbox of crisis control and management in people and decision-making has its perks when it comes to living the kind of life we/I do. There is much in our world and lives that we cannot control, but there is also much that we can – starting within ourselves.
So, I choose to focus on what I can do. Once those actions are determined, it is just a matter of taking them to ensure that when the stormy waves subside, I am well placed to take advantage of being selfish – and trust me, I will! π
~T π₯π βοΈ
WOW! I really like your additude! I’m sure you and your husband will get through this and come out even stronger. Those puppies are sure to help make lifes up and downs easier to handle.