Well, it’s hard to believe it, but we are just over 24 hours away from the end of our month-long holiday away. Our reasoning for taking time away was initially to escape the winter rains and greys that we had experienced the previous couple of years in Orvieto.
Ironically, this year had a rather late summer; thus, resulting in a rather warm, sunny, and gentle winter – so far. Instead, we experienced rain and grey in London in early December, the same in Nassau (Bahamas) mid-December, a little of it in Oregon over Christmas, and a few early days in Exuma (Bahamas). However, we are now in full sun with no complaints of the previous weather as we had such a great time in all locations.
Last night at dinner, M asked me what was the best part of the holiday. To which I could not pinpoint one part since each was really lovely in itself. New Year’s Eve was a blast as I danced non-stop for about three hours enjoying the music, liquids, and ambience. Spending time with my family was amazing and the time flew by. All the rest has just been chilled and luxurious.
What I have discovered over the past month, though, is that somehow I have relaxed enough to let go of whatever energies I was holding on to that were keeping me stressed or pressured.
Things have been somewhat of a roller coaster ride since meeting M and quitting my full-time work life. Of course, they were my decisions and felt right in those moments. Still, I have felt that I should hold on to that professional person since I had spent so many years, money, and energy on building her up. While I have every confidence that if I had stayed on that path, I could have moved into important roles and done good work. However, none of it felt meaningful.
When I moved into yoga, I felt that I was going in the right direction. A bit of self-growth with the intention of helping others as well seemed like a good fit. Yet, there were frustrations in that work too, but again I believe that if I had continued I would have built a good business out of it.
Then, the years straddling both of these fields never really proved to convince me that it was where I wanted to spend all of my energy. Proof of that was my continual irritations with people, myself, and a feeling of exhaustion.
Eventually, I allowed myself to move into the world of writing. It is daunting to enter a new area at a later age when confidence in my knowledge and expertise in the field is basically non-existent. Yet, I have been writing since I was eight-years-old.
So, after spending what is now almost three years dabbling in the writing industry while also hanging on to the threads of English language teaching or yoga teaching and learning, and trying out other ventures (TUA), I have come to the decision that it is in writing I want to commit 100 percent.
The truth is that people frustrate me. With the teaching element, it is people-centered. Although I want to help them, support them, and encourage them, I also want them to learn to be self-sufficient whether in language learning or doing yoga and mindfulness/meditation. When they cannot, do not, or want not, I get frustrated and my energy gets drained for what feels like no purpose. Sure, I can be idealistic that I am planting seeds or that somehow someday fruit will come of my labors. However, it is not satisfying enough to me anymore to hang on to the hope.
With writing, I can achieve the ideal of helping, supporting, and encouraging without the negative feedback. Although I could try to delve into the writing world, I do not really need to aside from learning how to pitch for articles or the admin aspects for editors to potentially publish with a traditional publishing house. So, I’m not naive enough to think I do not need to know anything or that it will be an easier road than any other field. Yet, I feel as if it is most definitely the right path. The one that fits best. The one that satisfies who I am now and becoming. The one that suits me, our lifestyle, and my preferences.
Thanks to a month of doing very little, I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time – if ever. So, here’s to 2024 already starting off in the right direction.
Right, off to enjoy the sunshine while I can!
~T 🔥🐉♋️
